We were lurking in some back alleys near our office, drinking Night Train out of an old leather boot, when we encountered a peculiar advertisement that caught our eye. Usually, we try our hardest to block out any marketing stimulus that comes at us, but this particular poster for Boar’s Head lunch meats (as seen below) made us stop dead in our tracks. And it wasn’t because we like sandwiches.
As you can see in the image below, the text of this particular advertisement reads, “If you’re anti-pasto, you’re pro-valone.” For a majority of sandwich eaters, this is a reasonably clever play on words that indicates that the Boar’s Head Brand has a snack for even the most discriminating of eaters.
For New Yorkers in the political know, this is a subtle promotion of one of the Queens’ most prominent political families, the Vallone’s.
Just because doubt is being cast over the next city election doesn’t mean that there isn’t time for some sneaky campaigning. We’re in the midst of a lengthy investigation into the connections between the Brunkhorst’s and the Vallone’s, the results of which will be reported on in the next issue of this newspaper, but we’ve already found some beefy stuff about how this advertising campaign was paid for by pork barrel spending and roast turkey fundraising.
Of course, we’d love to see more politicians getting in on the act of using food products to advance their political careers. We’ll even help them out by offering up some of our own foodie slogans to some our elected officials.
The only thing cheesier than a televised advertisement for a mayoral campaign is cheese itself, which is why Tony could start making and selling his own Mozz-Avella. It would get his name into pizza shops around the city and put his name right into the mouths of pie-starved voters.
The current mayor might make his legislation to extend term limits go down a little easier if he made a food-related poster himself. We’re thinking “Bloomberger,” with a photo of a hamburger with three patties and ad copy that reads, “Isn’t Three Better?”
The possibilities for cross promotion and viral marketing are endless. In case you hadn’t noticed already, your grocery stores are already lined with cans of beans and bags of rice bearing the name of certain Long Island City councilman.
Markowitz Was Not Missing In Action
This weekend, clothing company Diesel celebrated their 30th anniversary with a musical bash on Brooklyn’s Pier 17. The bash was a star-studded event filled with celebrities both on and off stage, and headliner MIA performed what she called her farewell show. (It was also the first time she had appeared in public since her pregnancy, confirming rumors that had been burning up the gossip pages.)
But it was not MIA, nor Lindsay Lohan, or even Hot Chip that caught Pol Position’s attention. It was the special guest Master of Ceremonies, the irrepressible Brooklyn cheerleader and original hipster, Marty Markowitz. Addressing a crowd of drug-, alcohol- and hormone-fueled New Yorkers in a giant circus tent, the Borough President introduced the pregnant rapper along with popular bands Hot Chip, Franz Ferdinand, and N.E.R.D.
Markowitz was his usual self, and although we can’t remember exactly what it was he said, he was very excited to be saying it to a packed house of modern dandies.
Still, the appearance of Markowitz, a known charmer and one of the borough’s most handsome gentlemen, so close to a pregnant MIA had us connecting dots that probably shouldn’t be connected. We know the Mark is happily married, but MIA is one of the most drop-dead gorgeous musicians playing today, and we doubt that she could resist the old Markowitz charm.
MIA seemed to be about seven months pregnant. When was the last time she played a show in Brooklyn?